Where did it originate from… Wrong foundation

Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son…John 3:18
If you don’t trust, how can you believe? I struggle with this… Because I have different things bombarding my reality everyday; telling me not to trust God.
One of the instances where I was praying for God to help my faith, something from my junior secondary school days came to mind.
I use to be a very optimistic and positive child but I discovered that things I look forward to or was very optimistic about never happened. But those ones I gave no attention to or expected nothing from where the ones that happened.
So I came up with a solution that I remember sharing with some classmates: “if you want something, don’t expect it. Infact start saying the opposite of it and that thing will happen.” That was the conclusion I reached. If you expect it and believe, it will not happen but if you start acting and saying negative things about it with no expectations, then it will happen.
Which was what I started doing, till I realised it was a toxic way of thinking but then the damage had been done. I didn’t share with my parents, so no one knew to correct this mindset.
When I remembered this incident, I discovered the root of the problem. I know God is all Knowing, Doing, Seeing… But I didn’t know how to expect, neither do I trust Him to come through for me. You can not undo over 15years of wrong thinking overnight.
But this verse and the discovery is helping me pull out the wrong foundation and trust Him even when I don’t understand.
Having children have made me realise; they may not understand/like all my actions but it doesn’t stop me from loving them.
This gave me a prayer point for my children: “Father, please expose every wrong belief or mindset my children have/will accept. Send teachers,friends, neighbours that will correct them, thereby setting them on the right thought/belief pattern through the help of your Holy Spirit in Jesus name. Amen. 

What are your thought/belief pattern?
Where did they originate from?

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