I woke up to pray… during the praise and worship session thoughts kept distracting me. Am I enough? Is this enough? Am I doing it right? Can I ever be enough? These and more thoughts kept bombarding my mind and I was getting discouraged with each on. Looking back now I was under attack, but at that moment I felt I was just being honest with myself.
The thoughts overwhelmed me; I was still outwardly involved in the praise and worship. If you had seen me, you won’t know the war that was going on within. Tired, I cried out Father is it even worth it? I don’t know if I can ever praise you enough or even do it right. This was 2am in the morning and there was no need doing something without any result is there?
My mind was made up to go back to bed, just as I said God, am I enough? (In my mind that is enough excuse to go back to the big succulent bed that was looking at me in the first place)
I heard myself say, “I am not enough but Jesus is, I may not praise enough but with Jesus it is more than enough. I cannot be more than enough that is why Jesus did it and I am doing this in His name. I don’t want to be more than enough but I am glad Jesus is. I am getting excited even typing this because it took the pressure off me.
At that moment, I really understood what saying Thank you Jesus meant!!! I do say it but as a religious obligation, because they say it is good to say it. But that night, I felt the Thank you… I understood the pressure of performance He took off me. In gratitude, I praised and worshiped because I am not worth it and I am glad.
It’s not about me or what I am doing or will ever do because it will never be more than enough. With the devil constantly bombarding my mind with why I am not enough like that and everything I have done? Do you think I can get over my not being perfect?
I have heard of attacks but never knew what it really meant for my mind to be attacked. To me, I was being rational or realistic but the devil is a sneaky one… he makes the thoughts seem like your idea.
It’s about what is done for me…
Do you know when you are being attacked?
Have you ever felt it’s all hopeless, there is no use trying?
How do you like David, encourage yourself in the Lord?
How has been the war of your mind?