I just came across this poem in my archive. I wrote it as a young girl who was struggling to hold on amidst temptation and trials. Looking back now, it took the grace of God. it’s so easy to give in and let all be damned. but the wait is worth it at the end of the day. Let me save this here for my children; for them to know the battle has been raging, it’s nothing new. You either surrender or you fight to win.
My pride! Or is it?
Someone walked away with it or did they?
Don’t think am crazy, or am I?
Someone wants to walk away with it and am not sure anymore
That is what has been drummed into me
As a child, a teenager, a woman
Now I have to make up stories to cover the truth
A truth that I should have strutted about with
Like a peacock with the telling
Envied among those whom theirs were carried
carried away in a plastic bag or gave it away in a nylon bag
Now it’s hidden behind false tales and smiles
Inside a seething mass of confusion and temptation
Do I or do I not?
I so want to give it bare
On luxurious feathers
Cool cool sheets
Crimson so crimson with pride
And as I see it, my mind’s eye
Only two, genuine two
Remain two and closer two
As each day or is it week?
Brings another flavor or is it taste?
And then settles into something sweet and comfortable
They pulls me, they drag me
To give it away in a plastic bag,
Even mine has joined the pull
But the content answers the shell;
Push all you can
I won’t settle
Lumps for feathers?
Crimson shame? for crimson pride?
Lord am I the only one left?
Where are others?
I see the light and it’s so…
What happened to crimson pride?