Daughter1: Mummy, I hit my leg… Me: sorry
Daughter2: Mummy, I hit my hand… Me: sorry
These and many more are per second complaints from the girls. All these complaint for sorry… say sorry and the issue ends. I noticed even Samuel waits for sorry when something happens… if it comes, no tears but if it doesn’t…
I have been teaching them on complimenting, appreciating others and complimenting/appreciating themselves. I told them not to expect it but acknowledge it when given. I also told them they should not only do things because they will be reward for it. If they see something not in its proper place and they can do something about it, then go ahead and do it.
Yesterday, Tori came to report that her hand grazed the wall while she was coming to the bedroom.
I said “Okay.” Then continued what I was doing,
“No, not okay.” She replied.
Why? You said you grazed your hand, I heard you. So I said okay. What is wrong with that?
In a wobbly voice she said: “No, I don’t want okay, I want sorry.”
“What if I refuse saying sorry and there is no one to tell you sorry?”
They both chorused. “you will tell yourself sorry” I also added as a reminder “what if you do something and no one commends you? “Then tell yourself well done.” They both replied again
I said “sorry” and the issue ended. Later, she came to meet me. “Mummy I hit my head and no one told me sorry, but I told myself sorry in my mind.” And I gave her a high-five.
I lavish compliments, hugs and kisses as much as I can. But I do not want them growing with the mindset that they need people’s approval. to appreciate who they are or what they do.
I am trying to teach and remind them, you will meet compliments,appreciation and validation… Appreciate them, receive them but do not depend on them. No self-pity, or buttering up for likes. Grow up to be self-confident adults aware of your strengths and uniqueness.
They will not be perfect but we can do the bit we can while we can. While the rest is up to God.
What are the ways you teach your children self-confidence?
How do you teach them to recognize their strengths and uniqueness?