Marriage is filled with different dishes; you go from one phase to another in discovering yourself and the person you are married to. You grow, unlearn, and relearn. Realize that others blueprint cannot work for you. Gradually you begin to settle into a pattern you get a few bumps and you readjust.
You are married to someone with a different background and ideas. You realize you cannot mould them into your ideal, at this point some people become bullies, others doormat, others keep late nights because they can’t deal. Some turn reporters, maybe the mentor, parent, priest or pastor can talk some sense into their spouse.
As a married woman, I don’t subscribe to reporting my spouse (except issues of abuse, please don’t keep quiet and endure.)
When push comes to shove you should definitely speak out but I am talking about those cases where the spouse is stingy, bull-headed; only his opinion can hold water or stubborn that he listens to no one but himself and he’s clearly doing a poor job of it, making unnecessary/selfish demands, prefers the wife stays at home but the wife loves working, maybe a good opportunity(you believe God wants you to take) comes up but pride or simply because the idea comes from the wife, the husband refuses, or a scared husband who is afraid of taking risks, unfriendly friends around your spouse; there are different scenarios that comes up in marriage that you have nagged all you can, reported all you can and things remain the same.
As a child growing up, whenever I misbehaved I was reported to my parents, as a wife if any of such case should come up, people will report me to your spouse and as a staff your boss. Reporting is usually done to any person over you.
I came across the verse in the bible (Ephesians 5:23) that said the husband is the Head of the wife and I thought, if the husband is the head, then who is the husband’s head? God…right?
Also if someone wants to report me at home, it’s to my head (husband) then if reporting to others doesn’t work, then reporting to God should.
So I decided to try out this theory.
It worked but the
downside, upside of this is, if i am the wrong/guilty party God will work on me first, so long as I resist and refuse to yield to the change things will remain the same but when I allow the Holy Spirit do his work, my perspective on the issue changes most time; either it doesn’t bother me anymore or when I change things resolve themselves, or he changes. With God most time, he knows best so I trust him.
It has also helped me reduce nagging, before I go to meet my husband with a complaint or suggestion as much as I can, I submit it to the Holy Ghost and tell him to speak through me. This influences his decision most times
Now my prayers go more like: father look at what is happening, I want to report my husband to you…he said this and did that, now this and that but you said this in your word, please intervene and resolve it in the way you see fit in Jesus name Amen.
Or I go, father I want to meet my husband to tell him about this, you are the one that said I should go ahead with it but this is the head you have put over me, if he says no, I cannot disobey him. Take over the conversation. Amen
Most times before I bring up the conversation up, he even initiates it or asks if I want to do a particular thing before I ask.
You may go into this thinking you want to manipulate things to suit you. God doesn’t work that way, he checks our hearts and motives, and he corrects the guilty party be it the reporter or the reported. He is fair like that.
Have you tried reporting to God? what was the outcome?