I Deserve This!

I have been praying for some things and I could not understand why I was not getting answers, when I see people getting answers to their prayers, I get frustrated and intensify my prayers again. Sometimes I say “Lord, I do not know why I am not getting reply because I have done everything I am to do, let me continue praying because I believe one day, I will get my answer…” or “Lord, have I not prayed enough, what do you want from me?” Or God if you bless me I will do this for you.”

So I kept at it…midnight, fasting, praises e.t.c I did all. Am I not believing enough? What am I not doing enough because I was sure the fault was not from God…let God be true and all men liars (Romans3:4). I continued praying, expecting my miracle, someday hopefully.

This morning, while studying I saw Romans 4… So it says..vs4-but didn’t he (Abraham) earn his right to heaven by all the good things he did? No, for being saved is a gift; if a person can earn it by being good, then it wouldn’t be free…14-so if you still claim that God’s blessings go to those who are “good enough, ” then you are saying that God’s promises to those who have faith are meaningless and faith is foolish… 16-So God’s blessings are given to us by faith, as a free gift…
I did not get it immediately, I read it again and again and then I went…Oh, Ufedo what have you been doing to yourself?!

I realized –
1) all blessings and salvation has already been given to us free.
2) We activate it by believing and trusting God’s promises (since He said it, it will happen).
3) being and doing good is not a trade by barter agreement for success…the fact you pay your tithes, pray regularly, attend all Church functions, help others, give, obey all the rules doesn’t equals success in your life.

My cousin just got a visa recently, while we were discussing her interview, she said, she did not know most of the questions but she answered as best as she could which was not much really and she got the visa, that was God’s grace and favour. if it were me I would have gone there thinking because I have done all the research and then tried to speak all the oyibo that I could I should get it, then I ask God to make my hard work successful. The difference between my cousin and I was she went there knowing if not God I will not get this visa while I would have gone there thinking I have worked very hard so God should give me the visa because he said in his word (then I look for a bible verse that backs up my claim)…who do you think God will answer?

I can now see why you here “this girl was so promiscuous, see the good man she married, see their children after all the abortions. Then on another hand you hear “eya but she was a good girl o, or she even got married a virgin… I wonder why she is not yet married or why they don’t have a child.” Also things like “I am better than this person, see what I have been striving for just fell into his lap” e.t.c our “I am a good person, I do good therefore I deserve to be blessed” mentality, blocks what is already ours in the first place. I believe those people we(judge and) call “not good enough or bad” get God’s blessings because they put their trust in God knowing they don’t have any “good” to lean on (who does, really?) and that is what pleases God. His grace is free not earned
4) Being good is good but it’s not our ticket to God’s blessings… Faith is!!!
5) Hard work is good but God is not obligated to bless your hard work but your trust in his grace for the work to be great.

Am still trying to wrap my mind round this, my good deeds are appreciation for the things God has done… I can never repay back and I cannot add to it.

Father, I am sorry for all the times I trusted in my work, religious activities and even bribery to get your blessings which you have already given me for free. I am sorry for short-changing myself and indirectly blaming you. thank you for your grace and mercy in showing me where I was getting it wrong. Thank you for blessing me, thank you for favouring me, thank you for your love and thank you for answered prayers in Jesus name Amen.

PS: Have you read Romans 4…please read it, not once or twice but over and over till you really get it…you can even read more than one bible translation if you can…

XOXO

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