My children are growing daily and they hear or learn new things everyday…sometimes I wonder if I can catch up with all these cobwebs but then I remember I am just a caretaker, God’s got my back.
I have heard phrases like you are no longer my friend, I will not give you my biscuit, toy e.t.c, if you don’t allow me play with your stuff, you won’t give me? Me ba? I will not play with you again and I nip it in the bud as much as I can…sometimes I wonder, is it not too early to start teaching all these, do they even understand…but I have read stories of children who pray and people get healed, who prophesy and then some child actors who are coached into acting so real, you will wonder at their mastery of the craft, how they were even able to get their lines in the first place; I know there are edits and cuts but there has to be a draft to be fine-tuned right?
When I considered these, I concluded; it is never too early to start, a step at a time will make more impact than doing a crash course when they are already ‘grown enough’ to understand.
I was in the bedroom with the children; they were playing while I went about my duties… Tori had her toy but she wanted Nuggie’s own too but Nuggie held on to it because she was playing with it… when she could not convince her to let go, she said “if you don’t let me have it, when I buy my biscuit, I will not let you have some …I wanted telling her that’s not right blablabla…but before I could speak Nuggie answered, “don’t give me, I will buy my own!” I was a proud mama, because 1) she is only two…2) usually she would have cried to me, reporting what her sister said…
Another occasion, Nuggie told Tori, I will not play with you again and she said… “If you do not play with me, Mummy and Daddy and Uncle this, Aunty that will play with me” there was no tears, anger or reporting.
There just came back from my parents for the holidays and they learnt another one from the neighbour’s children…when you refuse giving them something, they tell you…You won’t give me…me ba? Ok now!” the first time they did this I could barely control my laughter but I held it in…imagine this munchkins using reverse psychology on me! So I said… “Yes you, I won’t give you” they were surprised I said no and held my ground without batting an eyelid… when they realized it will not work they stopped saying it… because we refuse giving in to it, they don’t fall for that trick when you try using it on them either and it made me realize… that saying about children learning from what you do has some meat to it.
Some of my friends and family say I have an over active imagination and I blow things out of proportion, but stay with me for a second…imagine they both grow with the idea that you can manipulate someone into doing what you want by withholding things from them, dangling a bait to lure them in, or using reverse psychology to make people do as you say…it’s a two-way street right; if they can do it to others, then others can do it to them too…
Let’s say premarital sex, peer pressure, pedophiles, or abuse of any form e.t.c; are you getting my picture…I will give you XYZ if you… or if you do not do it then… No one can put pressure on them or blackmail them emotionally into doing things they should not do and the foundation in my books starts now…
A lady once tweeted…if your man does not beat you, it means he does not love you…I remember a girl in the university also saying, she likes it when her boyfriend beats her because the make-up is interesting…that type of flawed reasoning starts from somewhere…if the foundation be destroyed, what can the righteous do? Psalm 11:3
Now, are you getting the reason why I said I was a proud mama? because the seeds sown are sprouting positive seeds and through God’s grace we are watering and weeding.
I also learnt to start allowing them fight their battles instead of wadding in to save the day always…trusting that the seed sown found a fertile soil.
You can argue and say there is more to it than that…you may be correct but at least I do my part of the deal while I trust God to fan the embers, keeping them alive in their hearts…
Should we overlook some of our children’s (toddlers or older) excesses…speech, conduct, reactions e.t.c because they are cute and funny?
Can some of these behaviors set a tone for their future or we should allow them be children because they will learn with time and outgrow it?
How do you clean the cobwebs gathered by your children?
What do you say?