I was reading when Tori came into the room about to cry. I noticed her sad and teary countenance. So I asked, what is it?
One thing with her is you have to keep prodding for her to open up. After cajoling her, she finally opened up and said, Nuggie doesn’t want to play with me. ”
Why? I asked. She said I should go that she doesn’t want to play.
Is that why you are crying?
Let me tell you something, I said. “There are times someone will not want to play with you, leave them and find something else to do. When they are ready, they will come back, even if they don’t, continue with your own thing and leave them alone. It’s not because you did something wrong or they don’t like you. Besides people must not play with you all the time, give them space sometimes.
Pick a story book and read it to me.
Okay, she said.
Few minutes later, Nuggie came into the room. “Tori, I have finished washing, we can play now.”
I told her, Tori did you see that? She nodded happily, while Nuggie joined her on the bed to listen to her read.
Does she understand? Maybe… But I will keep saying it until she gets it.
I begin to wonder, how many people had such mindset as children… Allowing people’s mood dictate how we live or feel. If he/she is angry then maybe it’s something I did/didn’t do, maybe I should try more, it’s all my fault, e.t.c. chasing dead end relationships and enduring abuse because somewhere in the mind, the idea that you are to blame for others feelings and reaction has found root. Does it make sense? No. But to a child it does, and to an adult it’s the only way known.
If that pattern started is not properly checked, it becomes an opinion and belief. Which then colors the relationship with self and others..
Next time you want to say, it’s just childish behaviour. Think again, cos everyday forms the adult.