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My Marriage, His Glory

Different people have different reasons why they got married. If you had asked me before last weekend, my reason was companionship, besides I felt it was time. I went for a couple’s forum and the marriage coach was speaking… First thing I heard was God did not have any of us in mind when He instituted marriage. Then he said marriage is not for companionship. It’s not for procreation. It’s not for a safe environment for sex. If marriage were for companionship, if the companionship is not available does that mean the end of the union? If for some reason […]

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can two walk together except they be agreed?

Can two work together except they be agreed?

What if you found what you want to do and your spouse does not agree with your idea, business or plan? Read: Wife… Where are you in the Equation?   Sometimes you want to start something but your spouse for one reason or the other does not agree with the idea. First off, these things are to be discussed before marriage (plans, dreams e.t.c. do not think anyone will change their mind later in marriage. make sure you trash those issues out and you are on similar page before you jump to “I do”) but in case they weren’t…   […]

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my pain and environment are pointers

My Pain and Environment are Pointers

I started asking questions, I got the idea for my blog Memoirs of a young wife and mother (memoirsofayoungwifeandmother.com) there, I poured things, as I learnt I wrote, from there the idea for my children storybook came. The original youthful dreams and plans did not change but it evolved. I met and interviewed each person, it was like I was receiving the gift of me back piece by piece. I saw Ufedo again, the one who had laid forgotten while I was being realistic. The dream came back, those innocent, naïve dreams of before, they were not totally useless because […]

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something called essence... remember it?

Something Called Essence…Remember It?

A friend sent me a message recently, in her words she said “I am craftless, help me.” I share this because it was a very ironic statement. While we were in school, she was the go to person for everything. From electronics repair, to phones, clothes e.t.c. whatever you want mended or repaired, she will figure it out; with no formal training whatsoever.   She was bursting with creativity and I wished I could do half of the things she did. She topped that up with a formal training in fashion design.   She has been busy with marriage and […]

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wife... where are you in the equation?

Wife… Where are you in the equation?

Last quarter of 2017 I noticed I was feeling restless, not satisfied with myself. Like something was missing, what could be that you may ask, well that was the question I kept asking myself too. I am married, have a job, with children… so what could be the matter? That should be okay right? I got irritated easily at myself and everyone and I didn’t know what was missing. Nobody could understand even when I explained.   I started asking God questions, what is wrong God, why am I feeling this way? I read different books.   On social media, […]

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a gift rather than an apology

Hold your Gift… give me my Apology!

During the early days of marriage, I was an expert at holding grudges and keeping malice. but over time I saw I was wasting my time and energy on things that does not matter. I had to accept that try hard as I may, my husband will never behave or think like me because he is his own person. Instead of saying sorry he helps out with house chores or he becomes chatty. Initially I wanted the sorry, but with time, I lost interest even in the sorry. because those things I considered as slights on his part didn’t matter […]

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Can your Husband Teach you?

If I am asked, how do you see yourself as a wife? Among other things I will say, I am open, loving, understanding blablabla… who doesn’t toot their own horn? Maybe you don’t but I do… yeah, I am the best wife my husband ever wished for (cool shades on, tongue in cheek… LOL). Well I am growing to be, with God on my case, I am growing and learning every day. One of the instances of learning. I was strolling through the virtual world of Instagram. When I came across @secretplacewives post. Which says “Dear wife are you teachable?” […]

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Reporters Club

Marriage is filled with different dishes; you go from one phase to another in discovering yourself and the person you are married to. You grow, unlearn, and relearn. Realize that others blueprint cannot work for you. Gradually you begin to settle into a pattern you get a few bumps and you readjust. You are married to someone with a different background and ideas. You realize you cannot mould them into your ideal, at this point some people become bullies, others doormat, others keep late nights because they can’t deal. Some turn reporters, maybe the mentor, parent, priest or pastor can […]

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Mother- in-law

While in the university, whenever my friends and I discussed marriage and other issues, I always said I pray my mother in law dies before I meet her son. Due to all the horror stories I heard and saw (movies ignited my already stimulated imagination) I didn’t know better. I never took the time out to pray for her to die but saying it was also another form of prayer. This trend continued for a long time till one day, as usual I repeated the statement again among peers; someone replied, she said: “that will be the same way your […]

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Praying ahead

I saw an article sometime ago, which said the Germans train their children from age five for world cup, when I showed my brother, he said “no wonder, they are always among the top contenders for the cup.” for those into football; you know their track record in football history(I am not). Then there are soldiers who always go for training to prepare them for battles whether there is war or not. When I want to write an examination, I prepare ahead before the day. I considered all these things, and then thought, why do all these preparations for minor […]

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