I am learning a lot of things through my children, while I make mistakes as I go along. I am grateful for the wisdom and time for course correction.
One trait which I have noticed in myself and a lot of people is giving up in the face of seeming obstacle. It almost seems like a default of sort. except for the few who deliberately take steps to resist the comfort of not settling or giving up. It’s a fight we must fight daily with ourselves.
It’s tiring and exhausting but the rewards are endless. watching my children grow, I decided to introduce them to this battle early. so when they are grown they will be seasoned warriors.
Different incidents informed this decision. Children are impatient with waiting I have noticed. and my children add the waterworks for good measure.
After a hectic day, I came back home to meet another round of activity from the children. They all want to sit on or as close to mummy as possible. (I thank God for grace cos frankly I am someone who loves my space and to be alone with my thoughts. But “alone” has been deleted from my vocabulary… what does the word even mean? LOL).
Samuel took the lap, Tori took the back and my handbag was beside me where I sat on the floor in the room. There was no space for Nuggie. “Mummy, there is no space left for me.” She wailed. I turned to her and asked. “So, what are you going to do about it?” they know by now, when I ask that you have to look for a solution. Then Tori said “she will remove the bag.” And that was what she did. Whenever they complain about a situation that is usually my come back… “what are you going to do about it?”
They are 5 and 3 but they come up with solutions no matter how silly. I go further by telling them to try the solutions they proffered. I can remove the bag to avoid drawing out the process but then what will I be teaching? whine and complain when things are not okay? no! do something about it
Nuggie came to report Tori, “Mummy Tori refused helping me raise the net. Then I heard Tori defending herself from their room, “Mummy she has not tried.” This is a question I usually ask them when they say they cannot do something or it is too difficult… Have you tried? Is there any other way you can try again? Why did you do it this way? Do you think you can do better?
In my experience asking myself questions about challenges and decisions. help me see things from different angles. When you ask the right questions you get the correct solutions, So the same method is what I use for them.
They have not fully gotten it, we are still a work in progress. but hey that’s what I am here for. if I keep asking those questions, they will grow to always look at things from different angles. Thereby sticking with challenges till they find a way through or round it. Rather than looking for easy way out and giving up in the face of seemingly difficult challenges. like they say na from clap you go enter dance. So it is never too early to start inculcating the habit of out of the box thinking and perseverance.
What questions do you ask yourself?
What sort of question do you ask your children?
How do you stimulate the brains of the children around you to be quick thinking adults?