I have three children under the age of four and most times it’s overwhelming, especially as a young couple trying to find their feet with children up to their usual shenanigans; tagging along wherever you go, holding onto you, preferring to be on the particular chair where you are sitting. Whew! It’s a whole lot to take in and handle without help and believe me when I tell you I don’t get it right most times.
Which takes me to the reason for this piece; some mothers got no chill, like seriously? Motherhood is not a competition; also children are wired differently and develop differently. It seems these mothers didn’t get that memo.
When I had my first daughter; she had a full head of hair which is sometimes combed out into a fro with a ribbon when we go out (I had no clue whatsoever on how to plait but I was learning with her hair, therefore it usually came undone quickly).
The first question women always ask me was why her hair was not made; for the tactless ones, then the subtle ones will be like “mummy, make our hair so we can be beautiful…then they will coo at the baby: “tell mummy to make our hair, or don’t you want to look neat and beautiful, I know right…I know…mummy make our hair.” they aid while nuzzling her neck. They might have well have said make this child’s hair and stop being lazy and dirty!
Then there’s a category who look askance at you when your child is throwing a tantrum or looking for attention, why don’t you carry him/her or why don’t you give him/her what they want? the bold ones say it openly while others communicate their thoughts with their eyes…someone once said to my hearing: “all these women nowadays, they don’t want to carry their children, claiming to be modern.
How about the ones that want you to keep the child wrapped up like an Egyptian mummy, an elderly lady once forcefully pushed down a cap down my baby’s head; according to her the baby was still too little to be left without a cap.
A couple came to my house, when leaving the wife gave my girls money and I instructed them to thank her, she was like: “if it were my children, they wouldn’t need any prompting; they were potty trained before they clocked two and no bed-wetting…yada yada yada.
I let a lot of things slide by for my health and peace of mind. Don’t judge me, you had your time to bring up your children in peace, let me have mine. If I ask you and you want to share please do without putting me down in the process, if I don’t and you feel I need the information please be gentle and don’t make me feel less because I do not know. If you can’t be kind, by all means shut up and pretend you didn’t see the scattered hair, squeezed or stained cloth and the woman trying to hold it all together. I feel guilty enough; I don’t need you to remind me of my duties.
Have you had any better than you moments? what was your reaction or rather how did you handle it?
Let’s hear you…